Life...

So, my last three posts here have been pretty depressing and I wish I could say that Im all better, but that would be a lie...

Life has gone back to 'normal'...back to work, doing stuff around my grandpas (although I still frequently catch myself saying grandparents), ringing bells, family dinners...all the stuff that I used to do before Oct 10, but normal will never be the same again.  

I find myself wanting to call my grandma on a daily basis..nothing in particular just to say HI or tell her something or make plans to go out to lunch...and on several occasions picking up the phone, about to dial it.  Then I realize that she wont be there if I do.

I am going to continue my grandma's 'field trips' with Claire so she wont lose grandma and her 'special time' in one fell swoop.  Its been fun so far and has done as much good (or more) for me as it has for her.  Im going to try to do something at least once a month.

Im not really looking forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas...her favorite holiday.  But well put smiles on our faces and try to keep it as normal as possible for the younger kids (like we did 13 years ago).

Theres that word, 'normal', again...but what is normal anymore, really...