Thankful...

With the arrival of Thanksgiving last Thursday, it really made me think about what Im thankful for.

I am thankful for...

* having my grandma for 25 wonderful years, 23 more than we expected.  She was there to see me graduate from high school and college, for my softball games, to see me coach in the state semi-finals, and all the ordinary moments.  She was my rock and I miss her more than words can say. 

* still having my grandpa here with us.  While my grandma was the catalyst for our family, my grandpa is the glue that holds us together.

* my wonderful friends, both old and new, who have all become an extended family to me and have given me a shoulder to lean on when I couldnt stand on my own.

* a job with wonderful coworkers who make every day an adventure.

* the love of greyhounds, even though theyre not mine.  The soulful eyes and long needle noses never cease to make me smile.

* having known Coy and Gus, even though it was only for a short time.  

* my wonderful family, I dont know how I would have made it through this fall with out them.

Life...

So, my last three posts here have been pretty depressing and I wish I could say that Im all better, but that would be a lie...

Life has gone back to 'normal'...back to work, doing stuff around my grandpas (although I still frequently catch myself saying grandparents), ringing bells, family dinners...all the stuff that I used to do before Oct 10, but normal will never be the same again.  

I find myself wanting to call my grandma on a daily basis..nothing in particular just to say HI or tell her something or make plans to go out to lunch...and on several occasions picking up the phone, about to dial it.  Then I realize that she wont be there if I do.

I am going to continue my grandma's 'field trips' with Claire so she wont lose grandma and her 'special time' in one fell swoop.  Its been fun so far and has done as much good (or more) for me as it has for her.  Im going to try to do something at least once a month.

Im not really looking forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas...her favorite holiday.  But well put smiles on our faces and try to keep it as normal as possible for the younger kids (like we did 13 years ago).

Theres that word, 'normal', again...but what is normal anymore, really...

N's Bold Gust

There is another sweet greyhound running free at the bridge...

Gus was diagnosed with Osteo on Tuesday and they let him go this afternoon.

Run free, sweet boy...Ill never forget your smile!

N's Bold Gust

9/4/2000 - 10/19/2008

:'(

My rock

Early Friday morning, I lost one of the most important people in my life.  For 25 years she was there - she was my grandma, my friend, my confidant and my rock.

Kathleen Marie Carvill

2/2/1937-10/10/2008

What shall I say about the Irish?

The utterly impractical, never predictable,

Sometimes irascible, quite inexplicable, Irish.

Strange blend of shyness, pride and conceit,

And stubborn refusal to bow in defeat.

She's spoiling and ready to argue and fight,

Yet the smile of a child fills her soul with delight.

Her eyes are the quickest to well up with tears,

Yet her strength is the strongest to banish your fears.

Her hate is as fierce as her devotion is grand,

And there is no middle ground on which she will stand.

She's wild and she's gentle, she's good and she's bad.

She's proud and she's humble, she's happy and she's sad.

She's in love with the ocean, the earth and the skies,

She's enamoured with beauty wherever it lies.

She's victor and victim, a star and a clod,

But mostly she's Irish - in love with her God.

He was truly one of the best...

This morning one of the most handsome, sweetest, gentlest best, greyhounds I know crossed the bridge...

Coy was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer) in early September and fought a valliant battle.  Even on Friday, he greeted me at the gate at Anne and Ben's with a smile and a stuffy in his mouth.  When I would pay attention to Mezzie, he would go lay down on his pillow, but every time I came back to the gate to see Zoe, he would come hopping back over on his 3 legs.  

I dont know how many greyhounds were adopted because people met Coy, but Im sure that it is more than I can count on two hands.    

Run free, sweet, handsome, black boy - free from the pain of dreaded osteo.

Until we meet again, handsome boy, enjoy your twinkies and oreos and know that you are dearly missed down here...

White light and Godspeed! 

Coy - N's Xtreme  02/10/00 - 09/29/08 

Osteosarcoma

I will never, never, NEVER understand the terrible disease that is osteosarcoma.  It has taken far too many of these sweet, gentle dogs far before their time should be up...

And it will take another all too soon...

Coy - Ive only known you for a short time, less than a year, but I will never forget you.  Watching you work your 'magic' on anyone who met you has truly been a gift.  

White light and Godspeed!

:'(

Sometimes its the little things that bring it all back...

So...this fall it will be 4 years since I left for Cork.

Every now and then there are little things that will bring the memories flooding back like they happened just yesterday...and one just happened to crop up at work...

My coworkers and I were talking about music yesterday morning and started talking about how FANTASTIC David Gray is, so I decided to put him on shuffle on my ipod.  Suddenly, 'Babylon' came on and it was as if I was sitting in the lobby of Mardyke after a night of climbing, listening to it for the first time on Lindsey's ipod.  I could feel all of the feelings I felt while I was there - the happiness, excitement, and joy of finally being able to be myself; the thrill of hiking and climbing; and the peacefulness of being able to breathe for a semester.  It made me want to go back...

Now, I know that I could never go live over there again...there is too much tying me to the states now, but I think Im finally ready to go visit.  Hopefully within the next 5 years I will make it back.  I would love to see Dave, Tom, JC, Askea, Declan and Brad (and anyone else that is still around) again; see UCC and wander around Cork, climb Carranthoul again and maybe do the Reeks Ridge, just be back 'home'.  

My co-workers laughed when I told them that where ever I go in this world, Cork will always be my true 'home'.  Im happy being back in the States, dont get me wrong, but a part of me is and always will be in Cork.  There is just no way of explaining it to someone who hasnt been there...its just a magical, magical place! :)